yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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