i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
