Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
