All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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