I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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