Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
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