i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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