i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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