She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
