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Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
