I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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