Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
