Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
In America we eat man semen.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
They have beer where we have blood.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
