What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
