Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
there is glitter all over my balls
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