yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
