chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Randomize
