Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Do you still have your period?
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
