There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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