Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
