I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
honey bunches of taint.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
