She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
