He is an equal opportunity slut.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
