Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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