Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize