what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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