do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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