I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Randomize
