i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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