He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize
