3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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