at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
