There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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