the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize
