3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Randomize
