Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize
