i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
