I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
