Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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