ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
