I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i will never coherently bang her
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
