I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
