Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
