please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
