You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
