Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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