is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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