It's Friday. Sex?
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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