Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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