Will you blow on my dice?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
