I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
