She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize