Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
