My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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