3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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