my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
We named our party play list daddy issues
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
