Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
