I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
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