but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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