So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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