I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
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