I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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