your room smells of hookers.
And success
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
