Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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