Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize