We're like a lot better than the average bears
I'm gonna have a badass scar
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
