The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Randomize
