It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
