I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize