Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
